A couple weeks ago I attended the concert of one of my favorite singer songwriters. Meeting him at the CD table during break he suggested a deep and thought provoking album called Open Hand. It has a song on it called “Vow of Silence” which he had just played that profoundly met and encouraged me in a place of recent struggle (worthy of another post).
Listening to the album in the car over the past couple weeks I discovered this song, “Outside Door.” It has accurately hit home as it metaphorically describes a journey I have begun writing more about lately (my journey with depression).
I worked at an historic movie theater as a teenager, but never realized the power of the “movie house” I’ve carried in my mind all these years. I am SO thankful for creative people who can speak to deep reality and Truth in a way that helps give perspective and hope.
The lyrics are powerful (see below), as is his story about the song I found on YouTube. It’s called “Outside Door”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKn777HGjR8
LYRICS:
My movie house – it holds me prisoner
All boarded up – on a dead end street
In my darkest doubts – I’m the only visitor
Sunk down inside – those dusty seats
This world of mine – in two dimensions
It shocks my brain – with all I feel
That flickering lie – will build the tension
And I brace for pain – like it was real
I can’t stop the scene from playing
Trying ain’t worth dying for
It won’t change, but I’m not staying
I just found the outside door
The old film that rolls – I know the story
For all my years – it’s been the same
I’ll see my old – moment of glory
Fall to my fear – and find my shame
It leaves my heart – empty and shallow
No happy end – and no relief
In that endless dark – my cave of shadows
I still suspend – my disbelief
Standing in the morning wonder
Never seen the sun before
Broke the spell that I was under
I just found the outside door
There’s No silver screen – no satin curtain
My state of mind – plays this whole show
The illusion seems – to be so certain
That I’m trapped inside – with nowhere to go
Inside my war – with dark projection
I try to scream – but have no voice
There is a door – an outside exit
We can be free – we have a choice
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